Ways to practise self-love

Self-love can mean different things to different people, but essentially it means an appreciation of one’s own worth or value, taking care of our needs and not settling for less than you deserve.

Some actions that show we have self-love:

• Talking to and about yourself with love
• Prioritizing yourself
• Don’t self-judge yourself
• Trusting yourself
• Being true to your values
• Being kind to yourself
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or kind to yourself

Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.

Love is never outside ourselves; love is within us.

- Louise Hay

We all struggle with self-esteem issues but if you want to have a consistent positive relationship with yourself you will need to practice these ten items to help you maintain self-love.

1. Prioritize self-care

It is important to take some time out for yourself each day to do something just for you. For example, take 15 minutes to read a chapter of your favourite book with a fresh cup of hot tea or coffee. Whatever you want to do that is nourishing for your body and soul, do it.

2. Practice mindfulness

Research from Mental health and addiction studies found that regularly practicing mindfulness, such as being present in the moment, letting thoughts and emotions enter and leave without reacting to them, and having a non-judgmental attitude, helps improve self-esteem.

3. Eat Healthy and respect your body

Eating healthy food and exercising is practising self-love. Listening to your body and tuning in to what it is telling you helps prevent harmful activities.

4. Take one day at a time

Change does not happen overnight and the same for cultivating your self-worth. It is important to take one day at a time and as you move through it, pat yourself on the back for small and large accomplishments. It is the process of expressing yourself in different ways that is important and not always the outcome.

5. Forgive yourself

We need to be keep reminding ourselves that nobody's perfect. Holding on to regrets or shame about mistakes from the past can decrease our self-love. Finding a way to forgive yourself for the past while committing to improving your behaviour or living more closely to your values will increase self-love.

6. Develop long-term plans

Since loving yourself is a process, allow yourself to make some concrete goals to accomplish this. Develop some long-range plans and take action towards making them happen can help inspire you. Whatever it is, either learning a new skill or changing career or location, take action now! Give yourself credit and pat yourself on the back as you take these steps.

7. Stop comparing yourself to others

Anytime we start thinking that we are “less than” others because they either have more, look different or somehow are “better” than us, we are decreasing our self-love. One study from the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that comparing your life to others on Facebook can lead to feelings of depression and loneliness. So, focus on yourself and decrease time spent on social media.

8. Focus on your self-talk

Noticing your self-talk and thoughts will help you to be more self-aware of the critical voice inside your head. Treat yourself with compassion. Negative thoughts lead to poor performance, failure and self-blame. Focusing on positive self-talk and a can-do attitude can help you to move forward in a positive direction. Taking ownership and responsibility will help you to learn and grow and develop a “master” mentality, instead of staying in a “victim” mentality.

9. Surround yourself with positive people

If you are trying to increase your self-love, keeping the company of positive friends will make this task easier. Negative friends will keep you in a negative space. Friends who are open to treating themselves with love, compassion, respect and dignity will help you to maintain a positive mindset.

10. Do more things that you love

Engaging in activities that make you feel good will activate an area of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which controls how we feel about life. The more you love yourself, the happier you will feel and the more motivated you will be to accomplish what you want in life.

Life is full of ups and downs. No matter what happens to us, we can still maintain a positive attitude to life and have healthy self-esteem. Self-love isn’t a luxury. It is a necessity.